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Believe Me – Someone Will Always Understand Your Pain

Has battling with a past sexual trauma resulted in finding it hard to deal with situations in daily life that others seem to find easy? How can a therapist help you overcome these obstacles and challenges?

Someone will always understand your pain. “We believe you”

Has battling with a past sexual trauma resulted in finding it hard to deal with situations in daily life that others seem to find easy?

How can a therapist help you overcome these obstacles and challenges ?

Sadly, Sexual Assault and Rape are still commonplace events, even in our modern, so called educated, world.

Unfortunately, we cannot prevent it from happening; all we can do is push through the trauma and get the right help and support needed to navigate its impact.

What people don’t realize is that by having such a serious trauma, you then begin to experience emotions in your life which you haven’t been troubled by before. 

So the layers begin to build up: The trauma itself, and then its impact on how you live your life. We begin to have unhealthy responses and develop inappropriate coping mechanisms.

A serious trauma can make you develop many psychologically damaging symptoms: depression, anxiety, and paranoia being the most common manifestations.

Bruises can be covered up, fear can be hidden to a certain extent, but the psychological damage will live on and quite possibly worsen if left unchallenged by psycho-therapeutic intervention.

Sexual assault can happen to anybody it doesn’t matter what age, gender, or race. None of these matters to an attacker; the only thing an attacker sees is a vulnerable person that they decide to take advantage of.

A lot of victims who have been involved with a trauma like sexual assault and rape tend to put the blame on themselves. What did I do to cause this, what should I have done differently, why didn’t I fight back at the time, and many other statements of self-reproach.

Although you are in fact the victim, you begin to lose trust and faith in yourself; this makes you paranoid. Sexual assault and rape affect your life in more ways than outsiders can imagine.

After the event has taken place your first reaction is shock. You don’t know where to put yourself or even what to do, but you know if you do nothing the attacker will get away with it.

However, there are so many hoops to jump through in reporting the crime through the police that many victims feel approaching the authorities is just a waste of time.

The process starts with a rape kit to find evidence of your attackers DNA on your body. This is impersonal and humiliating.

Your head begins to do overtime, still constantly blaming yourself. Then you start to go into a very depressive state which is hard to overcome.

Unfortunately, that is just the beginning of a long and drawn out series of events : You then want to make sure the evidence sticks, and the person is convicted for the crime they did. This process is the longest and hardest part of your life.

While all the pieces are coming into place your depression and anxiety begin to get worse. You don’t want to sleep, eat, or even go out; you hide yourself behind your four walls, with no light and no motivation. Your depression, anxiety, and paranoia makes you believe that this is the end of the world.

You ask yourself why did this happen to me? What did I do to ever deserve this? I can’t answer their questions in the way they want me to, however, you didn’t deserve this. This is not and will never ever be your fault. Unfortunately this is just the way life works and we can’t control it. We don’t know what is going to happen tomorrow, that’s why this world is a scary place for a victim.

Right now, you’re hoping that justice will do its work and that everything will begin to end.

If you have been successful thus far, you now have to face your attacker, and hopefully watch him go from being a free man to a convicted and sentenced criminal.

You would imagine at that point you would feel some sort of relief, but you won’t, because the damage will not go away. It will continue to haunt you even years after.

The next step as a victim, whether you get justice or not, is to get support and help. Even though right now you feel like you don’t trust anyone or are not ready, remember it is always best to speak about your issues. Fears and intrusive thoughts lose much of their power in the full light of day. These will slowly begin to fade; they won’t completely disappear and you will never fully heal, but you can take control back from the perpetrator and get on with life in spite of the legacy of emotional wounds.

 “Seek a therapist and a recovery program that can help you heal your wounds, gain strength anf conviction in your own self worth, learn new healthy thought patterns and teach you to move past your experience into the bright new future that awaits you.” – Domestic Violence Survivor

This quote is by a domestic violence survivor. This inspirational quote will help you understand the support given and the strength you truly have as an individual.

What support is there for someone who is battling sexual trauma and consequently struggling with daily events?

Nowadays in this modern world and with new technology there is an amazing support network for someone who is struggling on a daily basis or just wants to speak up about their issues and obstacles faced. When going through a serious trauma you can always speak with a therapist.

A therapist is someone you can lean on, someone you can trust and who will understand you. A therapist is not here to judge you, They are there to make you feel at ease and hopefully help you begin to trust again, giving you the understanding that you are not a victim, you are a survivor.

A therapist will let you do the talking, there is no rush to how much you tell them in one session. You are more than welcome to see them as many times as you want. Your information is private and confidential. Whatever you tell them will be kept between yourself and them. Therapists are bound by a strict code of ethics.

When speaking with a therapist try to relax and breathe. Their motive is to help you; if you don’t want to talk or you’re not ready, just explain that you would like to sit in silence and just feel their presence while you are there and you will speak when your more comfortable. They will not rush you, and want to provide a safe place to help you come to terms with your circumstances.

The settings you attend are designed to make you feel welcomed and comfortable. Do not be afraid to admit you struggle with daily living. There are a lot of people in the same situation – your therapist will help guide you through. It takes time to heal and understand your shock. Over time, and at your pace, you will begin to understand your pain, and find ways of moving forward to a more fulfilled life.